I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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