I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
