I want to walk on stilts...naked
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
