Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
