Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
