There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Randomize
