You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
i now understand why vodka
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Randomize
