It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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