How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
