My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Just invented taco cereal.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I love you. Go after that dick
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
