Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
