I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize