my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
