I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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