At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
