it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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