in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Randomize