So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Just high enough for therapy.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
