I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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