I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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