pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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