2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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