she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
