i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
