He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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