that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize