i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
