We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
