I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
