chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
