The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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