The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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