Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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