He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
