Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
