They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
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