i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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