That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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