Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
