there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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