is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
