he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
