my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
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