and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
My vagina just recognized that song.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
They are going to name an STD after you.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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