his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
