dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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