There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize