can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
