my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
false alarm, still single
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