Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
i think im in europe. pls send help
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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