When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
