on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
