finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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