I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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