tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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