so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
