are you still at the devil's house?
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
