I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
