Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
