What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
