I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
