She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Are we still banned from the library?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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