WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
