I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
