We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
