he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
