I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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