You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
