Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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